How do you put an incredible man down on paper?
How do you find words to describe an infectious soul?
How do you measure a father’s love?
-If I were to follow my dad’s lead, I would tell you that it’s not what you say, but what you do.
My dad was the kind of man that if you mentioned briefly that you liked butternut squash… he would come over the next day with 3 weeks worth of roasted butternut squash soup.
Or if he came over to visit he would pull all your weeds before he got to the front door. And then always leave behind his sunglasses so he would have a reason to come by and visit again.
He was not always vocal about his feelings but the way he lived his life was an act of love.
Over the last few years I was lucky enough to go on a few road trips with my dad. We went everywhere from Louisiana to Savannah to Arkansas to Canada. My mom and the kids would usually be sleeping and my husband chad would read… while my dad and I would take in the scenery and talk. You can only imagine the lifetime of material someone like my dad can impart when you’re stuck in a van for 8 hours at a time. I adored our Van-Cations. Just in those handful of road trips alone, my dad built me up and equipped me with everything I need to go on…
For example….(and just to name a few)
-He taught me how to develop an endless curiosity about this world.
-To spend most of your time outside.
-To contribute to society.
-How to mash potatoes correctly…and for those of you wondering…use a ricer.
-How to laugh at the absurdity of the republican party…but no matter what…never become a democrat.
-How family is everything and there is absolutely nothing we won’t do for eachother, even if that means spending the day at Chucky Cheese.
-To be a proud American but to ALWAYS ALWAYS eat like the Italians.
-To do it right the first time.
-To not be cheap
-How brussel sprouts can actually be the most wonderful thing you ever tasted, if cooked correctly and with lots and lots of bacon.
-That the more miserable the more memorable
-To never assume but to inquire
-To give good advice, even if you don’t always follow it yourself.
– And last but certainly not least… to forgive
We lost an extraordinary, irreplaceable man. Things will never be the same, nor should they be, nor should we want them to. Because we are all better people just for knowing him.
I am who I am, because he was who he was.
They say someone is never truly gone unless forgotten.
So I often think to myself W.W.J.D- What Would Jim Do?
If he was sitting with us right here, right now on this beautiful day… he would be looking up at these shading trees and he would say, “you know Heather, that oak tree right there is probably over 100 years old,” or he would point out the trees root system and supply me with a random fact that I never needed nor cared to know but somehow I would walk away appreciating the shade of the trees that much more.
He was a man who absorbed life, exuded knowledge, and treasured his surroundings. He appreciated the little things AND the finer things and showed us that they are really just one in the same.
So the question remains, W.W.J.D., What Would Jim Do…
–He would probably tell his friends, who were always like family to him… to eat well, be well, and always find time for fishing.
–He would tell his brothers and his sisters to not worry about him, as he is now with his parents in Heaven and Bernie has been saving up decades of material on Obama.
–He would tell his son-in-laws, Chad and Ryan, to take care of his family but to know that there was never any doubt in his mind that they would.
–He would tell his daughters that he is so proud of us.
He would tell me to go easy on Carter and to let him be a kid.
He would tell Kelly to never lose her sense of humor and wanderlust, and if she didn’t already know, he would remind her that she got those traits from him and to make sure to pass them on to Charlotte.
He would tell us both to not lose trust or faith in people. And to treasure life when it’s at its most raw and uncomfortable. And I am almost positive he would tell us that we need to learn how to cook.
–He would tell his wife with every ounce of his soul that he is sorry, so so sorry. He would tell her that he always admired her will and strength, and ask her to now be strong enough for the both of them. He would tell her to take that trip to the Grand Canyon and to find comfort in the fact that he will now have the best view of it. He would remind her to awe in life’s beauty and to loosen up once in a while. He would tell her to put one foot in front of the other until they meet again.
–He would remind us all that the sun sets and rises with this family….and to find peace in knowing that he sees the most brilliant, radiant, breathtaking sunset right now.
I love you dad.